walker
my new year resolution was very simple .
it was one fold : get thinner .
algorithm : jog .
staus :
> jan one .... too drunk to jog
> jan two .... too cold
> jan three .. too tired
> jan four.... a'rite fine i'll wake up , enough of the thrid degree !!
so i put on my shoes and was tying the laces using the bunny in the hole trick , wen my mother enters the scene ...
--------
mommy nair , a simple mallu woman , suffering from over cleanliness and orderliness disorder , with four fold goals in life :
01. make a lot of "healthy" food , to meet her 'mal-nourished' son's hunger needs
02. remove every scintilla of dirt / dust particle , atleast from her house , if not the face of earth
03. make her daughter , as ridiculously meticulous as her
04. hope her son brushes his teeth twice
she fulfills most of her daily goals but the last one , the failure of which makes her BP shoot up with the thrust that currently scientists from NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab are looking into , to use for their launches .
following this periodic BP lift-offs , she visits her cardio guy , who prescribes (and has been for the past decade ) a daily WALK .
and today , on the second day of her venture , her walking-partner dropped out , and she looked at this pepped up guy (struggling to tie shoe laces) for help ....
---------
now i was lookin fwd to the more strenuous , 20 smthn guy like , sprinting and jogging .
but i cudnt deny her now cud i ?
so we left the house . mom and son . son and mom .
now the problem with walking is it is almost always accompanied with talking . and wen there is no talking , an awkward silence takes over , which is even worse .
now i am a "talking" person , wen i'm wit my friends , but wen i'm wit my folks the words just dont come out .
three minutes amd 35 seconds into the walk , she finally broke the lull .
mom : " so do we go to anna park ? "
me : ya
<< 45 long secs break >>
" wont it be crowded ? "
> no
<< 43 long secs break >>
" it must be better than walkin on the road na ?
> ya
" u know wit the vehicles and everytin "
> ya
" so swati (sister nair) has her last exam tomoro ? "
> ok
" she got less in math this time "
> uh huh
" she left a two mark question , got only 96 "
> erhm , ok
" kareena got 93 and priyaka got 94.56 "
> alrite . ( who the hell were kareena and priyanka ? and why do i care how much they got . infact why do i care how much swati got ? and what kind of freak goes abt tellin her mother all this ?! )
so , she actually tells u like every detail .
" then ? she's not like you . you hardly talk to us . just like ur dad . so wats happening in college ? u shud talk abt ur life too , i'm ur mother , i shud know . "
> hmmmm ....( alrite let me see .... ram has a major crush on this chick he met in CAT class , shyam just broke up with kavya , who btw is already goin out with amit . i met with three near death experiences on the road last week . me and shyam think the world sucks big time and we are thinking of joining a suicide cult . i had 11 patialas of romanov on new year's . ram got sloshed big time that night . the rajouri video is pretty hot . me and anil are thinking of reading up on genetic algorithms . i dont think we'll have enough cash to eat three meals a day next yr on . and i'm 21 and cant wait to get laid . )
" so what is tushar doing ? "
> he's going to the states
" for studying ? "
> ya
" so he got thru tat exam , wat do they call it , JRE ? "
> GRE . ya , i mean it's not just the gre . other thinks count too .
" like wat ? "
> reco letter , never mind u wont get it
" well i'll understand only if ya tell me ? "
> no its one of those things u cant explain
" so now what are u doing this semester ? "
> project
" on what ? "
> i wont be able to explain
" see u dont tell me anyting , how'll i know anyting , look at swati , she tells me wat happens in school . "
> aaargh ( ok see we are designing self driven heuristic crawlers to search for patterns in huge databases and supply the user with results that can helpaid BI )
<< i tried to divert the subject >>>
> so u know this park was built in 1976 .
" ya i know , they used have major film shooting here , remember that mal movie ..... "
... she spoke abt the old days , wen she was a kid , about movies , her fav actors , abt how things arent the way they used to be back in good old '75 and all tat jazz . it was kinda fun .
i am going to be her new walk-buddy for all of this month .
this is going to be a fun experience .
it was one fold : get thinner .
algorithm : jog .
staus :
> jan one .... too drunk to jog
> jan two .... too cold
> jan three .. too tired
> jan four.... a'rite fine i'll wake up , enough of the thrid degree !!
so i put on my shoes and was tying the laces using the bunny in the hole trick , wen my mother enters the scene ...
--------
mommy nair , a simple mallu woman , suffering from over cleanliness and orderliness disorder , with four fold goals in life :
01. make a lot of "healthy" food , to meet her 'mal-nourished' son's hunger needs
02. remove every scintilla of dirt / dust particle , atleast from her house , if not the face of earth
03. make her daughter , as ridiculously meticulous as her
04. hope her son brushes his teeth twice
she fulfills most of her daily goals but the last one , the failure of which makes her BP shoot up with the thrust that currently scientists from NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab are looking into , to use for their launches .
following this periodic BP lift-offs , she visits her cardio guy , who prescribes (and has been for the past decade ) a daily WALK .
and today , on the second day of her venture , her walking-partner dropped out , and she looked at this pepped up guy (struggling to tie shoe laces) for help ....
---------
now i was lookin fwd to the more strenuous , 20 smthn guy like , sprinting and jogging .
but i cudnt deny her now cud i ?
so we left the house . mom and son . son and mom .
now the problem with walking is it is almost always accompanied with talking . and wen there is no talking , an awkward silence takes over , which is even worse .
now i am a "talking" person , wen i'm wit my friends , but wen i'm wit my folks the words just dont come out .
three minutes amd 35 seconds into the walk , she finally broke the lull .
mom : " so do we go to anna park ? "
me : ya
<< 45 long secs break >>
" wont it be crowded ? "
> no
<< 43 long secs break >>
" it must be better than walkin on the road na ?
> ya
" u know wit the vehicles and everytin "
> ya
" so swati (sister nair) has her last exam tomoro ? "
> ok
" she got less in math this time "
> uh huh
" she left a two mark question , got only 96 "
> erhm , ok
" kareena got 93 and priyaka got 94.56 "
> alrite . ( who the hell were kareena and priyanka ? and why do i care how much they got . infact why do i care how much swati got ? and what kind of freak goes abt tellin her mother all this ?! )
so , she actually tells u like every detail .
" then ? she's not like you . you hardly talk to us . just like ur dad . so wats happening in college ? u shud talk abt ur life too , i'm ur mother , i shud know . "
> hmmmm ....( alrite let me see .... ram has a major crush on this chick he met in CAT class , shyam just broke up with kavya , who btw is already goin out with amit . i met with three near death experiences on the road last week . me and shyam think the world sucks big time and we are thinking of joining a suicide cult . i had 11 patialas of romanov on new year's . ram got sloshed big time that night . the rajouri video is pretty hot . me and anil are thinking of reading up on genetic algorithms . i dont think we'll have enough cash to eat three meals a day next yr on . and i'm 21 and cant wait to get laid . )
" so what is tushar doing ? "
> he's going to the states
" for studying ? "
> ya
" so he got thru tat exam , wat do they call it , JRE ? "
> GRE . ya , i mean it's not just the gre . other thinks count too .
" like wat ? "
> reco letter , never mind u wont get it
" well i'll understand only if ya tell me ? "
> no its one of those things u cant explain
" so now what are u doing this semester ? "
> project
" on what ? "
> i wont be able to explain
" see u dont tell me anyting , how'll i know anyting , look at swati , she tells me wat happens in school . "
> aaargh ( ok see we are designing self driven heuristic crawlers to search for patterns in huge databases and supply the user with results that can helpaid BI )
<< i tried to divert the subject >>>
> so u know this park was built in 1976 .
" ya i know , they used have major film shooting here , remember that mal movie ..... "
... she spoke abt the old days , wen she was a kid , about movies , her fav actors , abt how things arent the way they used to be back in good old '75 and all tat jazz . it was kinda fun .
i am going to be her new walk-buddy for all of this month .
this is going to be a fun experience .
posted by scoffes at 9:46 AM
3 Comments:
hey. nice one. even my bro is exactly like tat.. my poor mom has to do al da talkin!!
most of the convo gave a strong feelin of deja vu.. guess its da same everywher.. with all sons ie..! ;-)
btw, nuthing in rong in attempting to explain ur project to ur mom. key is how u put it to her.its sorta fun tryin to simplify a complex thing. try it. N momz are gr8. they may even give u some new insights.! dont under estimate..
Good,Sandy Boy! Neat description...I can v. much relate to it ...I see that happenin daily here too! Guess it could be due to the Opp. gender paradox...Maybe it wud've been easier if ur Dad was ur walkmate!
Post a Comment
<< Home