the family

disclaimer :
> i've a couple of drinks in me write now ( and also a huuuuge steak and caramel custard , which is more the reason i'm on a high ) .
> yes this too , like my last couple of posts , falls under the ' look ! i'm 21 and i'm so cool ' genre .

so i went to yet another of those family parties tonite .
mom , her bros and their families .
their was a lot of eating , talking , general merriment , kids making me laugh louder than i usually do , thanks to the -OH group reacting wit all the steak i was having .
oh wait , this is wat this post is all about .... me having finally crossed the age where i can DRINK with the fly .
non indian readers mite wonder wats the big freakin deal , but well guys , it IS a big deal for the descendents of the aryans .

wen offered for the first time , i declined it as usual . then a certain phrase used by one of the uncles that had two words amoung others , namely : " grow " and " up" , made me think once again about my position .
and then i went for it .
i called for the maitre'd , spoke as low as i could , made sure he dint repeat it , slipped in a note , ordered for vodka so that it looked like a soft drink .
two seconds into the drink , another uncle from the far corner who was talking to my mother , and was unaware of my ventures asks me : " hey sandeep ! wat drink ? "
point blank . no way out .
if i calculated rite , i used the sounds " eeeehhhhh , mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm , thhhhhhhhh , uhm " for 67 seconds .
and then i came out with it .
to hell wit eveything - i'm comin clean .
" mom . hi ! i'm having a hard drink . see here's the deal . i'm 21 . and i drink . it aint a big deal . cheers ! "
and all was cool , no protests no nothing .

i love it . being 21 rox !

but i'm missing the keypoint here wit all the useless talk abt my drinking with the fly extravaganza , which really is worth even mentionin abt only in our country .

the keypoint is ..... non minced chicken steak with mashed potatoes and a cooked tomato and fried onios by the side is HEAVEN !

ok , i'm sorry , the real point here is 'family' .
'family' is an amazing concept .
it has to be man's best inventions .
having lived in an alien place away from family all my childhood , i really appreciate being part of a big family , with uncles whom u can drink with , aunts who always have gum , cousins u can scold , granny to be always on ur side . it's truly a great feeling .
all who have been blessed with one , must appreciate it , and not take it for granted .

man i'm totally knocked out ! good nite !

school time

from 6 to 7 am , on all weekdays , a certain street in the suburban part of the national capital was engaged in a single activity ... a unique mission : " get Sandeep ready for school " !!

now it was not like young sandeep was not "not-keen" on going to school . infact he was very enthusiastic about going there ( saving the hindi class taken by the old mrs.sharma who had given up on teaching him the diff between oo and ooo ; ee and eeee ki matra ! )

the problem was sandeep's attitude towards life . he believed in living in the fast lane . living on the edge . now i would not go as far as calling the young bastard , wild ; cuz though a little rebellious towards meaningless shit , he never did anything wild ( oh ! tat is saving this time when he jumped from a 8 feet wall thinking he'll make it ( disclocated arm , still not fixed ) , and long jumped a 4 feet wide trench yet again thinking he'll make it ( disfigured face , ofcourse now its kind of attractive ) , and the time he drove for 2 kms on a deserted urban street aaaaall by himself post midnite ) ..... READ ON

happy saturday the 14

today's SAT the 14th .
so yest was FRIDAY the 13th !!
damn i jus realised tat .
shud ve put up a post on the funny superstitious stuff u humans do . damn !
maybe next time .

and , was the movie made cuz fri the 13 is bad omen , or is it bad omen cuz the movie is named so ?!

way 2 b 21

so i played 'hide n seek' yesterday !
it wasnt just me .
there were five other 21 yr olds .

six months from now , these guys would be working for big corporations , or doing research in los alamos , or reading about mckinsey's strategies .

but yesterday , you could find them crouching under tables , sticking to walls holding their breaths , walking on their knees , playing dead ... with a singular goal in life : " to not get caught by the seeker " .
and the seeker : one among the same pool of 21 yr olds , staring at the wall counting till 100 in a number system where 56 suceeds 45 , rotating his/her neck a little , rolling his/her eyes , pushing the iris to the extreme edge , one mm short of jumping out of the eyeballs , trying to get a glimpse of the hiders . on release he/she would transform into a predator with nothing more important in life but to locate the hiders .

way to be 21 !!

well i had fun . i can see meself doing this wen i'm 40 !
... and i dont see why one cant do tat .... it is so much of fun !!

i somehow cant pic my dad playing hide n seek .
so wen does one start acting like an adult ?!
wen does one cross that crucial line and make it to the other side ?

all me life i thot someday i'll grow up and talk about politics , the situation in northern ireland , and sothern finland , liquidation rates , the latsest tax redumption plans and u know boring stuff like that ..... however tat never happened !!

i hit 10 . i hit 15 . i hit 18 ( was expecting somethin there , but nothin changed ) . i hit 20 . and i hit 21 !!
and nothing . nothing has changed .
i know squat abt the situation in northern ireland and i've no clue what liquidation means !!

i still love batman , have a feeling that i mite be superman , archies rocks , laughing out loud cannot stop , boxing with the drapes is adictive , and i vote for HIDE and SEEK to be the national sport !!

age bday

u go to the bday cards section and u'll find a sub section called : " age b'days "

so wat 'ages' or 'yrs' are xtra special :

> 1 . cuz well it's ur fisrt b'day
> 5 . cuz its the fisrt multiple of five . its time 4 the boys to make critical career choices : batman , superman , or sand-man
> 10 . cuz its the second multiple of five and the first one of ten !
> 12 . cuz its ur last preteen yr .
> 13 . cuz its ur first teen yr .
> 15 . any guesses ? just follow the tables
> 16 . i dono wats so sweet abt sixteen , but wells its special cuz its sweet .
> 18 . cuz of the drivin licence and A rated movies thing
> 19 . cuz its ur last teen yr . and u jus realise that u were a teenager all this while !!
> 20 . cuz its ur first non teen yr and now u can use the phrase , " in the past 20 yrs .... "
> 21 . cuz now u are an adult . tats wat u tgt u'd become wen u turned 18 , but well for those who missed it here's the second call . also if u r still a virgin its a milestone that says , " kill yourself "
> 25 . 5 x 5 .
> 29 . 365 days before u can stop using " i'm in my twenties "
> 30 . its the "three" in 30 tat makes it so cruel . from here on , u are on the other side , goin down the slope of life .
> 40 . its only the 'tens' place that matters . 42 or 48 , u are old , buddy . its time u started using " i dont understand youngsters these days !!"
> 50 . half century .
> 60 . " back in the year 19xx when i was ...... "
> 70 . still alive ?!

***

happy b'day swati !

sunday times

" can i not read my paper in peace ?! "
i've almost started to sound like my dad these days , only that he would never say it aloud , he'll jus think so in his head .

my dad's not in town . to be honest with , i really dont miss him . i dont think 21 yr old boys miss their dads when they are not home . i mean we love them and everything , but we dont miss them .
my dad is this ultra calm fun-loving yet quite guy , who would have cumulatively spoken not more than 700 words in his whole life . 23 of those 400 to me .
if i'd to ever paint a picture of my dad , it would be him sitting on the sofa , and reading his paper with full conentarion , for hours together on sundyas . hail , storm , hurricane , earthquake ... come what may , our man would just sit there , with a non chalant look , reading his newspaper .

today's events remind me of him ....

----------------

so i wake up at seven today . make a visit to the loo . refresh the registers in my head . get back to the world . decidet to defer jogging for jus one more day . (oh come on man , it's sunday ) . sit on the " big boy" club-sofa , one leg on the other , fixing the glasses on the nose , slowly sipping coffee from the mug , flap the newspaper open and read ( or pretend to ) about the situation in ireland with a very concerned look !! ( u kidding me , i was readin calvin and hobbes , and did u check out that chick in that asma ad ? boy is she hawt or wat ? )

<< after turning 21 , i started acting like the man of the house when my dad's not home >>

so i was there pretending to be the king , sitting on his throne , when my mom calls out :

mom : " sandeeeeeep ! can ya go get tomatoes ? i kg , and also get 100 gms malli , 200 gms inji , 274 gms pudina , kal kilo ulli ..... make sure the tomatoes are good .... pick them urself ... u know how to pick rite ? .... and if ya want chicken get a kg of that too "
me : - hmmmmm

" ok jus dont sit there and read that , come back and read , i've work to do , now move it "
- hmmmmm , wait in some time

" i want it now , please get it na , i wud ve called up home delivery , but that guy takes like an hr "
- k , fine . wat do they call tomatoes in tamil ? wat do they call ginger in tamil ? wat do they call pudhina in tamil ? wat do they call onions in tamil ? how much of wat again ? 100 gms of wat ?

<< i got back with 100 gms of tomatoes , 273 gms of onions , 1 kg of pudhina , half kg of ginger . apparently that is not what she had asked me ? tho i clearly remember she said so . anyway i get back to reading about calvin ... i mean about the situation in northern ireland ....
however , my activity was broken atleast 4 times by door bells .
67 seconds into continuos reading and .... >>


" sandeeeeeep ! ok jus help me , na . take these drapes out . i ve to wash it today "
- hmmmmm

" ok i want them now "
- hmmmmm . wait after i finish this .

" read later , jus do this na , pls , i'm getting late "
- alrite . wait dint u like wash this the day before ?

" ya . so ?
- mom , drapes / jeans and humans , should not me cleaned everyday !

" oh my god ! is this what i've taught u for 21 years .......... "
< lecture continues @ 75 dB and 100MHz , for half the lifetime of a bee >

- ok ok ok ok ok ok ok . ya i get it . fine i'll take the drapes out and i WILL take a bath today !!

Can't a guy read his newspaper on a quite sunday morning in PEACE anymore !!

***

walker

my new year resolution was very simple .
it was one fold : get thinner .
algorithm : jog .
staus :

> jan one .... too drunk to jog
> jan two .... too cold
> jan three .. too tired
> jan four.... a'rite fine i'll wake up , enough of the thrid degree !!

so i put on my shoes and was tying the laces using the bunny in the hole trick , wen my mother enters the scene ...

--------

mommy nair , a simple mallu woman , suffering from over cleanliness and orderliness disorder , with four fold goals in life :

01. make a lot of "healthy" food , to meet her 'mal-nourished' son's hunger needs
02. remove every scintilla of dirt / dust particle , atleast from her house , if not the face of earth
03. make her daughter , as ridiculously meticulous as her
04. hope her son brushes his teeth twice

she fulfills most of her daily goals but the last one , the failure of which makes her BP shoot up with the thrust that currently scientists from NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab are looking into , to use for their launches .
following this periodic BP lift-offs , she visits her cardio guy , who prescribes (and has been for the past decade ) a daily WALK .

and today , on the second day of her venture , her walking-partner dropped out , and she looked at this pepped up guy (struggling to tie shoe laces) for help ....

---------

now i was lookin fwd to the more strenuous , 20 smthn guy like , sprinting and jogging .
but i cudnt deny her now cud i ?
so we left the house . mom and son . son and mom .

now the problem with walking is it is almost always accompanied with talking . and wen there is no talking , an awkward silence takes over , which is even worse .
now i am a "talking" person , wen i'm wit my friends , but wen i'm wit my folks the words just dont come out .

three minutes amd 35 seconds into the walk , she finally broke the lull .

mom : " so do we go to anna park ? "
me : ya
<< 45 long secs break >>

" wont it be crowded ? "
> no
<< 43 long secs break >>

" it must be better than walkin on the road na ?
> ya

" u know wit the vehicles and everytin "
> ya

" so swati (sister nair) has her last exam tomoro ? "
> ok

" she got less in math this time "
> uh huh

" she left a two mark question , got only 96 "
> erhm , ok

" kareena got 93 and priyaka got 94.56 "
> alrite . ( who the hell were kareena and priyanka ? and why do i care how much they got . infact why do i care how much swati got ? and what kind of freak goes abt tellin her mother all this ?! )
so , she actually tells u like every detail .

" then ? she's not like you . you hardly talk to us . just like ur dad . so wats happening in college ? u shud talk abt ur life too , i'm ur mother , i shud know . "
> hmmmm ....( alrite let me see .... ram has a major crush on this chick he met in CAT class , shyam just broke up with kavya , who btw is already goin out with amit . i met with three near death experiences on the road last week . me and shyam think the world sucks big time and we are thinking of joining a suicide cult . i had 11 patialas of romanov on new year's . ram got sloshed big time that night . the rajouri video is pretty hot . me and anil are thinking of reading up on genetic algorithms . i dont think we'll have enough cash to eat three meals a day next yr on . and i'm 21 and cant wait to get laid . )

" so what is tushar doing ? "
> he's going to the states

" for studying ? "
> ya

" so he got thru tat exam , wat do they call it , JRE ? "
> GRE . ya , i mean it's not just the gre . other thinks count too .

" like wat ? "
> reco letter , never mind u wont get it

" well i'll understand only if ya tell me ? "
> no its one of those things u cant explain

" so now what are u doing this semester ? "
> project

" on what ? "
> i wont be able to explain

" see u dont tell me anyting , how'll i know anyting , look at swati , she tells me wat happens in school . "
> aaargh ( ok see we are designing self driven heuristic crawlers to search for patterns in huge databases and supply the user with results that can helpaid BI )

<< i tried to divert the subject >>>

> so u know this park was built in 1976 .
" ya i know , they used have major film shooting here , remember that mal movie ..... "

... she spoke abt the old days , wen she was a kid , about movies , her fav actors , abt how things arent the way they used to be back in good old '75 and all tat jazz . it was kinda fun .

i am going to be her new walk-buddy for all of this month .
this is going to be a fun experience .

new year

i just had the first continuous 2 hr'd nap in the past 30 hrs .
have an exam to write in less than 20 hrs ; 've yet to start studying .

last night (or today morning) had to be the least planned and most fun new year's i've had .
there was no single thing tat was the high point in the all-night , wat i'd like to call rang-de-basanti theme , parte !!

it involoved a lot of eating , a lot of laughing for reasons i don quite remember now , a lil(?!) of vodka , lot of meaningless dancing , multiple surprise visits by partying teams and a lot of planning for the next move !!

in all it was funnily FUN .
it's the last new yr's of me coll life .
no one knows wats in store for us this year . . . and now the crapping has started , so i'll stop before phrases like "realising their dreams" and "follow their own paths" appear .

so happy NEW YEAR all !!
good luck .