why did the manager make the chicken cross the road

result of making a regular boy , read theories that teach ppl how to tell ppl wat they already know wit meaningless management jargon

Why did the chicken cross the road ?


<< a Management Perspective >>

Ineffecient strategy and synergy-less planning at the chicken's side of the road was threatening its position as a star and its management paradigm was clearly shifting towards the less domainant market postion of being either a cash-cow or if conditions continued to severe even a BCG portfolio matrix dog !! The Chicken however wanted to continue to be a fowl !

The management also forgot to apply the SWOT analysis and forgot the principles proposed by Hawthorne studies conducted by F.Roethlisbergner in the winter of 1876 . It also failed to realise its objectives , and did not effeciently communicate with subordinates regarding the effecient use of synergy and productivity .

On the application of an effective and productive and effecient Poultry Management System (PMS), the chicken shifted its startegy towards moving to greener sides of the road .
A thorough analysis of the roads and the sides of the the road , similar to the test conducted by Daimler Chrysler and GM when they decided to asses all alternative routes and not just assess but also chose one and then formulate suporting plans for the same , and hence decided to abandon Theory X and Theory Y and to adopt a new Theory Z alpha version three , which very comprehensively describes about : synergy , productivity and effecient , three concepts no non-managemnt humans could have otherwise thot of .

The Chicken also felt the need to meet its fellow fowl in Jpanan , Korea and Germany ; and hence learn about the concepts of kaizen , wha and imwha , corpd de maiter leichsten , which not only talks aby synergy and productivity but also about effeciency and organisation . This experience would leverage its personal knowledge capital , both internal and external .

There is no way of knowing if on crossing the road and travelling towards the other side the chicken would be happier , but future forecasting machines that travels to the future and brings back pics frm there , can be used as inputs for the current strategy , and decision making process . it is expected to increase the productivity , by either magically increasing the numerator or reducing the denominator , a process that can be only understood by managemnet students cuz of the high iq demanded for the complex math calculation .

The studies also suupport that McGregor's theories that support productivity , is in sync with the chicken's corporate and functional strategy , although McClelland's theory , that talks essentially abt productivity is against it .
Now its for the chikcen to decide if it wants to use the Fidler's throeory of management by effeciency , or Heinzberg's priciple abt synergy and realising objectives.

copland

around four yrs back a young fat boy , with a faint hint of a mush , got on his scooterette to leave for school . his head was filled wit tgts of the test on organic chemistry he had that day , and chemistry u see wasnt his fav subject .

wen he got to school , his hair was standin at right angles , his mouth was drier than the atacamas , and he was shaking a little .

cuz smthn had happened on the way , that i cant mention for security reasons . but to give u a clue , it had smthn to do with a three wheeled machine with a considerable amt of homo sapiens in it , driving into him at a relatively high speed .
it also involved that certain three wheeled machine , along with its inhabitants , finding itself head over wheels , after contact with the scooterette !
and it involved the chappie with the faint mush , the rider of the latter , running away out of fear and confusion ( only after he made sure all were safe , and tat there were ppl to take care , and that he was indeed in one piece ) !

well if u had not guessed it yet , tat unfortunate (2 have met wit the acci) and fortunate ( to have lkived to write abt it ) bloke was me !!

the next day , a lil shaken by the events , i went to school .
and on the way , at around 178 meters frm me , i saw a cop , with the veerappan mush and the jazz , signalling to stop .

i don rem where in the middle of the head rush , the excessive palpitation , and dangerous levels of dehydration , i had figured it .
but i figured that someone had noted my no. or found out abt me , and the president had sent for a special team to hunt me down . i had committed no mistake , but no one wud understand . they wud prove tat i was guilty . and they wud imprison me and then maybe hang me !

it also meant not having to ever recieve the corrected test paper on organic chem i'd written the day before in the shaken condition , but it dint really matter much then .
i was going to die . the headlines wud read , " juvenile held for murder of many inhabitants of a three wheeled machine . to be hanged . "

it was all over . so suddenly . my career . my non existent love life . my chances of ever having sex . my life !!

may be i cud still escape . if i took the next left and then the third right and went straight for abt 3000 kms in my scooterette , i cud reach china .
maybe i cud start a new life there all together . i wud sell the scooterette and start a new biz . it ll run cuz ppl love anytin tats international . i wud become rich . they wud call me the rich-indi . i wud be the most popular , cuz i'll be diff . chicks wud totally dig it . maybe i wud do IT . tats was it . china was the ans . and for that i'd to take the next left !

and then i realised tat in all the planning , i'd missed it !!
now there was no escape .
i was doomed .

my heartrate multiplied 23 times . i cud almost here an artery burst .
and then i stopped the bike , right in front of the cop and held my hands fwd to be handcuffed !

he acted in a funny way tho . he got on to my bike . and said ,

" saar , adatte signal le drop panningla please "
<< sir , pls drop me at the next signal >>

------

fast fwd , 4 years hence .

status : never been caught by cop , for drivin or other wise !

tired of the timer games played at the signbal , i push the throttle at the count of 02 secs remaining .
was to take the immediate left .
as soon as i negotiated the tough turn , i realised that it was NOT a free left .
i was not sure if the signal was on .
but there was no way to tell , cuz of the bad traffic , and the vehicles on the wrong side .

i took the turn .
and there he was , pandu hawaldar .
white dress , veerappan mush , whistle in the mouth , signalling me to stop .

i stopped the bike . at some distance . he came running behind .
great !!
now i wud have to negotiate wit him in tamil .
he will start with Rs. 5000 . I will say 50 . we'll finally settle for 100 .
my last 100 rs bill , for the month was to part !

he gets on to my bike . and sez ,

" saar , adatte signal le drop panningla please "
<< sir , pls drop me at the next signal >>

i ll get by with a little help from me friends

lately , i've been realising tat i'm a man of small pleasures .
i guess the most fun i have is wen , i'm wit me friends , and there is no concious effort to have fun . whether it is :

> studying for a hopeless exam with the surdman in our own peculiar way , talking abt the latest flicks , the situation in iran and the science of boiling milk whilst making maggi-and-coffee at 2 in the morning !

> walking on the deserted streets of the city past midnight , eating pan wit the albino guy , after having experimented with the 20 bucks - crow fried rice and chilli rat !

> laying around at T's place , eating , watching tv , debating and not doin anything particularly fun , yet having a great time

> talking to hari pJotter abt the meaninglessness of life , whilst playin poker and eating off his lunch box in my room , after bunking college !

> moving around in T's car , wit pJotter driving , listening to music , talking abt how much life sucks , and ending up enjoyin it !

> doing karoke session wit lyn and realising that i can give up bein a caped crusader and become a singer by night !

> having 15 friends over , settled in a 10x10 room , proposing diff plans to have fun and ending up doing nothing , and yet having a ball of a time !

> digging in the last but ten quids of our wallets , to collect 76 bucks in donations of 10 paise - 25 paise - torn five and ten rupee bills , to pay for an unfilling straw meat subway , and later have idlis for ten bucks at murugan idli shop to fill up the void !!


the essence of life is embedded in small pockets of unplanned , unexpected fun .

we all wait to catch the big wave ; but during this waiting period , forget to "feel" the touch of the small easy waves lappig our feet !

<< wow ! i 'm gud at this stuff .... deepak chopra , watch out !! >>

i'll leave u wit , the wonder years theme by joe cocker :
( for surdman , albino guy , T , pJotter , lyn , scram , palo , matin , prank , tom , padla , priza , drib , et ... everyone )

What would you do if I sang out tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
I will try not to sing out of key, yeah
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
By with a little help from my friends.
All I need is my friends

merry x'mas

merry xmas !!

> cuz of hari's bday , this x'mas went fine ; inspite of the impending exams tomo
( u have to give it to the univ ; its jus amazing how they come up wit exam schedules . one rite after xmas , the other rite after new years !
readers who are related to the UN , pls note the human rights violation here !! )

rewind :

> winter of '03 :
- one of the best xmas ever . was in ooty .
- went to wat remains of mom's college there .
- will always relish the walk i had wit mom , on the well decorated commercial street in the night , eating fudge .
- wathced all the xmas special tv shows ( it was the yr they brt in CAS ) , cuddled up in the bed . distinctly rem the 70's show , it was the best ever .

> winters of '90 thru '97 :
- in delhi
- wud make a make shift xmas tree ( wit a cypress tree we ahd in the kitchen garden (?!) and cotton balls to fake snow ) .
- wud watch home alone . every year !
- feast for lunch .
- snack on pizza frm nerulas ( wen it was still a craze ) .

> winters of '84 thru '90 :
-don rem , but mum says we used to have this place in ooty (b4 it was overpopulated ) , with meadows all around and a church right next to our place , and the priest guy was my granpa's pal and we wud have tis major partyin and everytin .

cud i BE more like him !

Which Friends Character are You?



Take this Quiz
Made by eLLeN112.

decisions

decision making can be a tricky bizness .

in the recent present , i had to go thru some major decision makin meself .
the process had me shred into pieces !

the thing wit decision making is , by the time u are half way thru , wit assessing the depth level-one of the possible paths , and doin the risk / cost benefit analysis ... u kind of forget why u decided to do "the decision making" in the first place !!

each path itself spawns into a jillion other paths , and for all u know none of the assumptions u make will substantiate in the actual future .

and u gotta paint pictures of urself in these myriad milieus , walking thru each of the million-zillion paths .
u mite think , tat this wud help .... but , lil do u realize , that the thought train can take u billion parsecs away frm ur actual tgt thread , to a world where u are dating aniston !

then u realise tat all ur decision making activites are futile , cuz ... ur life is a cosmic accident anyway ( or according to some theories , an engine to find the answer to the meaning of the life white mice frm a galaxy i don rem the name of rite now ) .

so , finally u resort , to the time-tested way of decision making .... TOSSing .

after some major coin tossing , i too picked a lane .

but i'm certain i picked the wrong one .... cuz wit me , tats wat happens all the time ..... even if all the cba and rba and opportunity cost considerations , are with the track i pick , fate plays its dirty games and i find myself wanting to go back in time and pick the other lane !!

but i gez tat is life . u always find urself on the wrong inter-state bumpy freeway with no U-turn !

things to do this week

> teach meself tat 17 idlis and 9 paranthas is not wat earthlings called brkfast

> realise tat caffeine can prevent cancer only if taken in moderation

> start jogging , as soon as i get me track shoes , and the weather is better , and its not very cold in the mornings , and my feet are not injured

> stop reading newspaper or watching ndtv , cuz the world's a big bad place

> take a bath every-morning, even if it means replacing the butt from the chair and walking aaaaall the way to the bathroom

> finally fullfill my mother's dream for 21 yrs .... me brushin me teeth twice !

> learn how to spell fullfill

> cut down on watching friends , frm 11 to 3 episodes per day

> tell meself tat i'm in chen , not NY , once in every 15 mins

> tell meself tat i hafta behave like earthlings , no matter how funny i find the things they do

> not box with the curtains wen mom's around

> not box wit the walls or doors , sometimes they are suprisingly strong

> stop tellin ppl tat i'm the real batman , they are not goin to belive it

> realise tat sometimes watching porn and studying for exams at the same time , is not a very good idea

i'm a racist

lil more than 24 hrs to go 4 the exam , and i'm typing out this blog instead of studyin .
cuz i'm PISSED . nothin in specific . just pissed in general .
wit the world .
on one hand the world's a beatuful place .
then u put on ndtv or start studyin for "a-certain" university's exams , and start thinking the other way !

we all think the planet's divided into nations and religions and color and creed and economic and soical status .

but its actually divided into only TWO broad categories :
there are the COOL and the UN-COOL .

wen i say cool , i dont mean the happy days' fauncy-cool !

jus the regular ..... fun-loving , peace-maintaining , moderate , non-relegious , non-politial , non-nationalist , mtv watching , easy living , relaxed , creative , rational people .

and then there are the UNCOOL villians .
these ppl having got no other source of entertainment , spend most of their mid-mornings , tea-time and late evenings , scheming ways to make life HELL for the rest of the crowd ... the Cool ppl .

on the extreme end of the UC-club are terrorists , religious fanatics , politicians , admin of "a-certain-univ" and ppl who dont get my jokes .

on a lower level of the same club are ppl we meet everyday .
teachers , parents , bosses , peers !

ppl making money by making ridiculous soaps .
ppl watching these ridiculoius soaps .
ppl fooling ppl by reading tarot cards and stars and numbers .
the morons who believe the former .
ppl claiming to be secular yet acting against it .
ppl setting up meaningles tests .
the jerks who feel proud by cracking them .
young hippies , wit braces on , who think they are cool cuz they smoke and listen to megadeath .
girls who hafta finish their hw on time and pack their bags the night before .
dames who think they are hot chiks .
hot chicks who have iq commensurate to the temp of north western siberia .
dumb-hot-chicks who think they are godesses .
godesses who JUST wont give in !


and we ppl frm the C-club , constantly keep condoning the acts of the UC . we live in a world led by the UC . and we do nothing abt it . we jus shut up and look at them screwin our happiness .

...and sometimes , some of us , on a lonely gloomy midnite , write abt it and post it on the net !

happy b'day

wat does " many many happy returns of the day " mean ?

my whole life i've never understood wat it means !

i feel the phrase is symantically , synaxically , and a whole lotta other -callies WRONG !

wat is being returned anyway ?
wat was being lent , tat had to be returned ?
and why does it keep returning every freaking year ?!
and why is every one so happy abt its return ?

and , they are not just happy !!
they are happy many times over .
no-no , no-no !
they are happy MANY , MANY times over .
two many-ies !

wait a minute , so is that why they throw a party ?!
cuz everyone is really happy abt the returning of the thing !!

----

anyway PRIZA and T : many many happy returns of the day to u !!

vote 4 ghagara

he eats sushi and thair-sadam wit equal ease ,
his fav drink is pina-colada with buttermilk ,
listens to mega-death , sony nigam and spb ,
wen he is not singing , he is watching movies !

presenting .
the 2 b VJ of SS music .

VJ SARAN .

associate wit us ,
vote for VJ Saran .

>> type VJ 09 and send to 3624

OR

>> visit VJ 2 Polling.
and vote for VJ Saran


thank you .

stop the car ... i wanna pee

i'm not sure if i shud be writing abt this .

lately , i've been following a ceratin pattern , tat makes me all confused .

every time i'm called for lunch or dinner , i go wash my hands .
and wen i'm washing me hands , the sound of the running water , makes me wanna pee .
then i think of not pee-ing , cuz i just washed my hands .
but the more i think abt not peeing , the more i want to pee .
wanting to pee over lunch or dinner aint a good idea , so i decide to pee .
after i do take the leak , i'm not sure if i shud be washing me hands , cuz i jus did that .
seems like a lot of redundant work !!
i sometimes wash it anyways , but it makes me look like a jack ass .

u know , first washing up - then peeing - then washing up .

why cudnt i jus pee and wash up ?!
but see if i had not gone to wash up the first time , i wud have never felt like pee-ing !

so basically the human body has screwed up engineering .
and i cant believe i jus posted this thing on the world wide web !

donnie raze is on-line

brt up in the not-so-shady suburbs of our own town
he aint no black or white
ha aint no gangsta
he aint no bad mofo
he is wat they call India's next BIG thing !

ladies and gentleman ... i give u ... our city's own son ... our own RaP-sTAr ...

annnnnnnnnnnnnnn - weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Dr. N V Y

check out his big-bad-f'd-up-system bashing work on :
n-v-y.blogspot.com.

statuary warning to kids : i offer u ONLY the truth
parental advisoty : dont be around wen ur kids are listening to the doc

the emperor's old dress

i was reading " Hi ! " , kingfisher airlines' mag and 98% of it has page 3 stuff . mallya is the chairman , waddya expect ?!

so anyway , there is this section where these page 3 ppl , quote the price of the stuff they are wearing .
it genearlly goes like this :

> shirt : Inde Pret . 10,000 USD
> belt : Doyce and Gabbana . 50,0000 USD
> jeans : Roberta Cavialli . 3 million USD
> tie : Italy . 2 billion USD .
> shoes : custom made frm Madison Avn , NY . 5.07 trillion USD

in the case of females there were corsets and bags and "acessories " and stuff ... the cost of each , enough to feed all of nigeria .

anyway , i jus tgt of finidin out , how much i'm worth .

# as i sit on my easy chair and write this :

> shorts : uncles' old stuff . so FREE
> tee shirt : T's (friend's) . so again FREE
> underwear : jockey boxer . Rs 150 .
> prescription : abdul optics . Rs. 3,500 .
glasses

net = Rs 3650 . tat's inlc the glasses
otherwise its jus the jocks tat really were worth anythin !

# when i'm wearing my best :

> shirt : shanti colony , chennai . Rs. 350
> jeans : kamla nagar market , delhi . Rs.400
> belt : commercial street , b'lore . Rs.20
> shoes : unknown brand , local shop . Rs.400
> undies : jockey Rio . Rs.200
> vest : jockey . Rs.200
> prescription : abdul optics . Rs. 3,500 .
glasses

net = Rs. 5,070 . again incl the glasses .

try it out . its fun .

pacifier 101

on P.D. , the Pacifier 101 post has bin shifted to the Fuddha wala blog .

do check : http://scoffes.blogspot.com/

thank u

i'm vincent vega baby !

An Elvis man, you like you women dangerous and your steaks bloody. You often get wrapped up in landscapes and fail to realize the danger you put yourself into. Don't get cocky, and don't get caught. It might be good to lay off the drugs every once in a while. Just a suggestion. Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.

mouse hunt

we all think we live in a safe civilized world , away frm the threat of being eaten up by beasts of the wild . but little do we realise that lurking somewhere in the corner of our concrete high rises is a modern day urban moUster . . . . the 'Muridae Cricetidae' a.k.a. Mouse .

on my return to the house after a late night galavanting event , i accidentally left the door open , and in came the beast .
life has not been the same ever since .
we think it's a small harmless creature . HA ! poor us .

their strength is their size .

one , even if u are scared of them , u have to show tat they are not . cuz ppl are goin to ay " its jus a mouse ' . wat ppl dont know is , tat this mouse thing bites and scrathes and jumps and runs really fast and is often the carrier of terminal diseases !!

two . u always get the feeling tat the mouse is ON you . u can actually feel its phantom small legs running on your body , sometimes towards certain parts that if harmed can actually cause the extinction of the human species ; so that they can take over !

three . u cant see them . they run and jump . and get to the most inaccessible places . u mite think that u ve shoo-ed it away . but like always u 'll be proved wrong .
it mite be hiding somewhere . looking at you with its red eyes full of hate and disgust for the human kind .
and u never know wen it'll attack !!
and u have to go abt ur daily chores living in this constant fear .
u cant sleep , cant eat , cant work (ya rite !) .... untill u see it dead !

four . u cant kill it ! cuz if it dies , ur house is going to stink with this thing .... tat smells like a dead rat !!
( unless ofcourse u use kachua-chaap mouse killer , tat kills the rodent after it gets outa ur house .... and no ! i do not know how tat works ..... maybe they have a homing devise or a hypnotising agent or smthn )

you know , i really dont understand wat part of this hideous creature inspired walt disnety and hanna-barbara , to go abt making cartoons tat show them in the wrong light !!
and these cartoons totally mess up ur idea abt the real world , u actually start thinkin tat mouse(s) are friendly funny things , which i now know for sure .... they are SOOOO NOT !!

mr or miss

if i don get a set top box , i'm sure i'll turn into a 12 yr old girl !
havin got nothing better to do , i started watching pogo .
and wat on pogo ?

> Sabrina
> Two of a kind !

wats more ?
given the sample space :
> listening to the situation in west africa on bbc ,
> political crap on ndtv ,
> unimaginably ridiculous soaps on sahara .

so i think i mite have developed a liking towards the progs on pogo .

i'm scared batman may get replaced by the teenage witch !

help !!

tagged !

i've been tagged .
< its this funny games girls play , u tag someone and u gotta write 20 pointers abt ya . and then they TAG along jobless guys like me into this >
now the obvious thing to do wud be : go to cuba - change name - get a face transplant .
but i'll pass tat .
gez i'll see wat 20 things i can come up with .
( also , i don want to offend a certain someone of the fairer sex )

01. i'm hungry
02. i've been hungry for most part of my life
03. its amazin how one can be as hungry as i am after the amount of food i eat
04. my mom makes sure i'm always full
05. i love my mom
06. she’s gone to the temple now
07. i wonder why ppl go to the temple
08. now if i continue on this thread , ppl are goin to come up wit the 'its all abt faith' story , tat i dont think i'll ever understand , so lets not talk abt tat
09. yes i am an agnostic
10. btw i usually drop her there in me old beaten car , but now she has found a new temple-buddy to go with
11. i like cars , like any other boy !
12. my favorite car brand ( not gettin into the specs) is the dodge viper
13. i'm (in)famous for my driving skills , in my coll
14. i'm one of the very few , na actually the only one in my coll , to drive into a lake and live to talk abt it .
15. so , see i dint die cuz i think i'm destined for great things
16. i dont think i can become a rockstar now
17. it wud have been cool if i were a standup comedian or smthn
18. i worship Seinfeld
19. i used to be a major TV buff
20. coming back to worshipin , i think Michael Crichton rocks
21. i recently finished readin all his novels . thank u very much .
22. i'm currently reading the hitchiker series . i'm in love wit douggie's way of writing .
23. wen i'm not reading , i'm thinking . abt wat ? i dono , girls and stuff .
24. sometimes i also write wat i think . tat has been a major concern to many religious and female activists .
25. i hate activists . cuz they are active !!
26. i think we invent tools to be lazy . so lets be tat .
27. someday i'd like to buy the 'lazy boy 500-i' recliner
28. before being a lazy boy , i was jus a boy . and then all i wanted was , to be Batman !
29. waddya say abt the batmobile ? i think tat baby rocks !
30. i'll tell u who else rocks . U2 .
31. oh you too think u2 rocks ? tats great .
32. a few other ppl who i think rock are : john travolta , samuel jackson , aamir khan , ashitosh gowarikar , the script writers of friends , makers of monster's inc and shrek , ar rehman , larry page and sergey brin , bill watterson , hugh hefner and well all inventors !
33. wow i actually managed to write 33 points ! this was easy . lets close it at 35 .
34. so long folks . and a note to all females : tho i've been accosted by many of ur kind , i am single , so call me !
35. i'm still hungry !

my struggle for an education

This is the story of a 20 smthn boy, who was so poor that he cud not afford to buy books for himself ( well actually he spent all the money in his book fund on infinite no. of shawarmas ) . so he wud go to his friend , the surd-man’s place on the eve of each exam to import some unnecessary information that he will never use , but tat cud get him thru some really horrible exam things of a university I cant mention the name of cuz of the threat of being charged for defamation .
following is a narration of his courageous attempt , walking 147 meters through ankle deep waters , to the above mentioned pal’s place .
this is his struggle for an education :

--

it was a dark saturday morning . 48 hrs to go for the exam . the impending cyclone was well ... impending ! I looked around . and all I saw were bodies . dead mangled bodies . of mosquitoes and flies that I had been squatting for the past half an hour , having got nothing better to do . and that’s when I decided . I had to go . I had to go to the surd-man’s place . a place where I cud give myself the right to education (thru books bought by him) , cuz i knew i was born to accomplish great things in life , and unlike in other countries where college dropouts could go abt creating business empires and becoming billionaires before they turned 30 , in my country one has to pass thru these meaningless exam things to get somewhere . of course the thing that triggered me to go was the boredom , and the monotony of killing witless flying creatures already dazzling under the effect of good-knight . the only hurdle on the path , other than laziness , was the water logging around the house cuz of the not-so-heavy raining the night before coupled with the geography of my house that was situtated in a local minima of the global maxima .

but I was not one who wud change plans cuz of a couple of zillion-billion hydrogen and oxygen molecules bonded together ! .... hawt women , maybe , infact most definitely , but no , not water .

so I wore the wade-thru-water gear : an old half trouser that exposed my calves and hamstring muscles , a one dollar tee I got from goa and rubber slippers three sizes short .
also packed my rucksack wit all the accessories I mite need on the journey. a torch , a swiss knife , a self-inflating raft and a sandwich incase I lose my way or drowned and found myself marooned on some island .

all set , I left the house . now , u know how you feel when you say goodbye to an aging relative , and have this thing going in ur head saying , ' it mite be the last time ' !! well it was not that intense , but ya pretty much .
So I said goodbye and left.
i was a man on a mission .

i entered the pool of water , relying only on the sense of touch to navigate myself through the submerged road . and it was a good feeling . wading through the water , on a dark Saturday morning , exposing ur hamstring muscles , and moving with a mission .
So I walked for around 29 seconds and got to the part of the road that was not visible from my balcony , earlier when i was surveying the milieu .
now u know how ... ok i realise i've been saying too many of this "u know how" business , i promise this wud be the last ... ya , so u know how they show in the movies , as far as your sight goes everyting in fine , and then you move a lil bit and emerging bfrom the horizon are huge dinos or a big army or gigantic buildings etc etc etc .
now what i saw was the exact 100 % opposite of that . in my head i had picturised a lonely dark city submerged in water with dead animal carcasses floating about . but here i cud see a fully functional city , with buses overflowing wit ppl as usual , people fighting-slash-bargaining wit auto drivers , women clad in sarees sweeping the hardly wet road , and of course birds not chirping the way they usually dont !!

disappointed and awed , i boarded one of the overcrowded buses and got down 149 metres from the surd-man's place . bein clad in shorts , a faded tee tat read 'i li_e i_ in g_a ' and pink coloured slippers that covered only 1/3 rd my feet , dint really make me feel very comfortable .
a walked for 2 meters and ....

----

u will see more of this courageous blighter's struggle in future posts . however i asure u tat no one dies , accept a really old man who has not much to do wit this story anyways .
bye dor now .

baaz-i-grrrrrrrrr

i told u not to name him !
u hype up his arrival so much and baptise him wit such a fierce growling name .
obviously he got , wat they call , the STAGE FRIGHT !

i'm talkin abt BAAZ .

poor kid , under enormous pressure to perform really evil acts , got

nervous and turned to a whiff !

but now i'm suspended again !!
i got no book to read from , and the initial plan of goin to a friend's to study is down the drain along with the rain water .
and now its for baaz to help me , by either disappearing all together and lettin me go to book-ful state or , or show a few tricks enough to delay the exmas to a drier day .
and i really dont know which one to wish for ?!

---

pls do check : TOW ... What's in a name ? .

call waiting

human , the second laziest ( second only to sandeepnoid ) and most social of all carbon based creatures had to be loyal to both his attributes : lazinees and bein social .
so he invented a seemingly harmless gadget called the tele-phone .
and after that neither he nor the species sandeepniod has ever lived peacefully !

and , as if it was not good enuf tat he could now talk to fella humanoids and s-noid without moving his butt , he added another feature to it . this feature called : CALL WAITING .

now it makes total sense . an object x of the humanoid class calls u when u are talking to yet another object y of the same class . now u dont want x to be deprived of the love tat y was currently getting . so u get these series of seemingly innocuous beeps , alerting u abt x's call , wanting to be attended .
see , its so simple !

but now the universe has never liked anything simple has it ?!
so it toys with the poor human/sandeep-noid .
playing the good old probability game !
( the same game tat had made life hell for the above mentioned unfortunate blokes , during a certain exam by the name pqt )

so this is how the call waiting torture works :

" all the people who want to call a certain A will call A at the same time , 100 microseconds give or take ! "

there are 24 hrs in a day .
that is 24x60 mins .
now say each person talks to A for 5 mins .
that gives room for 287 other ppl to call exclusively .
but alas that works only in a galaxy not infested wit the robability concept !!
cuz in this galaxy , all creatures call concurrently !

that is a P() = 86,350 : 1

and we think that we are living in a world of random actions .
HA !

----

FYI :

dial 119 : to disable call waiting
dial 911 : if u think u need psychatric help for probs caused due to call waiting

vanilla sky

I watched Vanilla Sky today .
Amazing movie .

The primary reason for me watching it was obviously MATTER .
I've been wanting to watch it ever since I saw Penelope in the sex clip of the Spanish version of the movie , yes I have an exhaustive porn collection , thank u very much .
Wait , its legal to have porn for a 21 yr old in this country rite ?!
Oh oh , hey they wont arrest me for tis rite ?
Oh wait . No , nothing . I said nothing . porn wat porn ? penelope who ? Oh that spanish actress ? Ya i ve seen her work , she is a really really talented actress , but tats all i know abt her , her acting skills !! I swear .

Ok now abt the movie .
Ya so I really loved the movie .
If you had asked me how the movie was fifteen mins before the movie ended , You wud have prolly died of skull concussions after I hit you , cuz untill then I had NO IDEA wat was happening , and it kind of got irritating , no not kind of , it really was irritating .
I was this close ( pic me holding out my thumb and index so close , as if holding an atom ) to breaking the TV , when they finally started explaining wat the fish was happening .

And I was A-W-E-D !!
totally awed by the explanation .

now i dont want to spoil fun for those who havent seen the movie yet , but the technology they talk abt in the movie is totally amazing .

Oh screw it , I'm goin to talk abt it , u shud ve seen the movie by now anyways , and if anythin reading this post 'll only explain everythin frm the begining . So here it goes ....

They talk abt " LUCID DREAMING "
Now tats very close to the lifestyle I'd proposed a few posts ago .
" Conciously living in the Dream World ... Forever "

I've a few friends who were SHOCKED to learn abt my propositions (yes safa i'm talkin abt u ) , but I trule belive that its a kick ass concept .

In the dream world , u chose to live the way u want .
U get to ... be a rock star , sleep wit the celebs , recieve 'lou' frm the girl u like , eat all the shawarmas u want and yet have a great body , not face the perils of male pattern balding ....
So basically , everyone gets to be happy , by faking a life they want .
And well wat is the goal of life , but being happy .

And there are also other bene-by-products .
One , the load on all the resources will be low , as humans will be perpetually sleeping .
(maybe stick up a pipe or smthn that supplies the minimum nourishment needed . and tats abt it . )
Two , okay there is no two , I dono why I wrote one ?! One prettty much covers everytin .

So ppl , Meet the to be founder and the first user of LE ( lucid environment ) .
Our motto :
" You'll Beam , in ur Dream . "
or ,
" It'll Seem , like everyting is Cream "

Okay I really shud not try my hand at poetry .